South Eater
by South Narnia
Summary: A parody of Soul Eater,Kyle and Stan,Cartman and Kenny, and Craig,Tweek,and Wendy are miesters and weapons at the DWMA training to destroy the keishans Rated T for swearing and mild nudity(kinda)
1. Chapter 1-Prolouge 1-Kyle and Stan

**(I've been watching Soul Eater and South Park a lot more lately**

**Then,I watched the South Eater video,and I thought "Eh,why not".**

**So,this is how I think it would go.)**

The DWMA

a better version of Hogwarts

Training young weapons and miesters is the job of Lord Death,the most badass motherf***

In fact,just the sound of his voice will make you s*** your pants in fear.

But enough about that

this is the story about a weapon and miester pair,Kyle Brofloski and Stan Marsh.

Who are in fact about to receive their 99th Keishan soul.

The duo I just talked about are staring down at the murderer "Jack the Ripper"

Or as Stan puts it "Edward Scisorhands' retarded brother"

"Look man," Stan says,"What your doing isn't cool."

"Stan,cut the lecture an transform already"

"sure,as long as you quit bitching..." Stan mutters

"WHAT?!"

"I..said that's the sitch!" Stan says as he turns into a scythe,and Kyle catches him.

The Keishan runs straight for them and jumps into the air.

Kyle evades this attack with no effort and starts blocking the attacks.

The monster jumps into the air,trying to escape

Kyle sticks the scythe right in it's belly.

"99th SOOOOUUUULL!" Kyle shouts

The scythe goes right through the enemy,who turns into a Keishan egg.

Stan turns into his human form and grabs the soul.

"Nice job man" He says before he eats the egg

Stan then claps his hands together."Kyle,thank you for the good meal"

"Took us long enough,but we finally got all the souls we need."

"Now all we need is that witch soul,then I will finally become a death scythe"

Kyle nods." For now we should report to lord death and let him know"

They both walk up the steps,and Kyle starts looking for a window.

"Window...window..Aha!" Kyle creates steam on the window,then begins to write the death rooms number

"42-42-564 whenever you wanna knock on deaths door" The window begins to glow.

"Hello?Lord death?"

Lord death pops up."Kyle!Stan!Good to see you two!How did it go?"

"We got the last Keishan soul,sir."

"Great job Kyle!Your becoming as good as a miester as your mother was!"

Kyle laughs for a bit,but his smile fades away when he sees his father walks in.

" Marsh,Dont even think about doing anything to Kyle."

"What are you smoking?I'm too icy chill to actually tap that"Kyle looks at Stan angrily

"ARE YOU TELLING ME MY SON ISN'T ATTRACITIVE?!"

"No,I'm telling you I'm straight, "

"Kyle,your dad loves you"

Kyle turns his head."Dont waist your breath on me,you stupid Jew..."

Mr Brofloski sits in the corner in despair.

"Enough of the family issues."

"Go and get that witch soul while I chop your dad on the head for interrupting me." The image fades away.

**Resonance of the soul .Will Stan become a death scythe?(probably not)**

The duo ends up in front of a pumpkin house.

"So how do you think we should get in?"

"By using my awesome ninja stealth!"

"Stan,in anime ninja stealth doesnt w-!" Kyle is interrupted when Stan charges right through the window.

As Stan crashes,he sees that a girl with brown hair and a hat is taking a bath.

"DAMN YOU WINDEEEXX!" He shouts as he lands on top of her

"Oh yeah...that's icy chill" He says in the water.

"Having fun there?"

Stan gets up,and as he sees the girl's breasts,he gets a major nosebleed and falls over.

"YOU IDIOT!"Kyle shouts as he kicks Stan,hard Enough that Stan hits his face on the wall

"Sorry to interrupt,but i'll be taking your soul now."

"I hope that cute boy will be alright~" Stan gets another huge nosebleed when she said that

"Could you transform,already?"

"Working on it,Kyle"

"Alright witch!Naked or not,I'm eating your soul now!"He turns into a scythe and Kyle grabs him

"First off,the names Kat"She jumps out of the bathtub "And if it's a fight you want,then it's a fight you'll get"

She starts making a circle with her finger."Pumpkin...Pumpkin...Pumpkin..Halloween cannon!"

A blast comes from her hand,and shoots at Kyle and Stan.

The next day,Kyle and Stan start walking up to her house.

"Damn that am I supposed To fight with her being all hot and naked like that?"

"Well,if you payed attention,you would be a death scythe by now"

"Your just jealous cuz I got some boob.."Kyle was about to hit him for that comment,but Stan sees Kat coming and drags him to hide.

Kat hears their whispers and Hugs Stan."AH~!My little scythey boy~!"Which causes him to get a nosebleed again.

The next day,they come back up to Kats house.

"Listen Stan.I made a plan on how we could beat her."

"Um...we aren't grocery shopping Kyle.A price of paper wont help"

"THEN YOU TELL ME HOW WE CAN BEAT KAT!"

"I vote for brute force though..."Kyle starts wailing on him,and they don't even notice Kat sneaking up on them.

"Pumpkin?Pum Pumpkin!"

"Huh?"

"HALLOWEEN CANNON!" And she hits them again

The next day,they actually get to fight her.

She creates some pumpkins and throws them at Kyle,who dodges them.

"Hehehe~!You should give up." But the boys are too busy arguing,they didn't even hear her.

"Hey, you have any idea about what we should do?"

"Yes!I have the best idea."

4 minuets later...

"...and that concludes the argument.I will become Kats weapon,and you will sell your Jew crap"

"Stan...how could you?"

"I just don't think we should be partners anymore..."

"Dont you remember,dude?"

"Please,not with the story again..."

"We met in front of a piano,man!A PIANO!"

"and guess what Kyle?You just got punked!"Stan transforms and Kyle catches him,slashing Kat in half.

Stan grabs Kats soul and eats it.A light forms around him.

"I CAN FEEL INCREDIBLE POWER!"But the light fades away,and he burps.

A little cat comes in front of them and meows really loud.

"Dont tell me..."

"Did I say I was a witch?No" The cat turns into Kat."Im really just a cat with a lot of magical power"

"AAAH!SON OF A BITCH!" Stan grabs Kyle and starts his motorcycle.

"Stan,calm down!I will take responsibility for this!"

Kyle turns around and see Kat following them on a pumpkin."AND WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU STILL DOING HERE?"

"You aren't very smart are ya?Dontcha know all cats have 9 souls?"

She looks over at Stan."So Stan,when are you gonna leave the Jew and come with me?"

"KAT GO AWAY!"

"Come on Stan~!Ya know you want to~!"

"This isn't cool at all..."

Well,there ya go.

Next time,we look at another weapon and miester pair-

Eric Cartman and KennyMcCormick

...that's if the author remembers to continue...

**I will!...maybe...**

**anyway,this was fun.I made this for my enjoyment,so if you don't like it,I don't give a rats ass :)**


	2. Chapter 2-Prolouge 2-Cartman and Kenny

Last time,We saw the scythe miester Kyle and his weapon partner Stan.

Now we're going to meet a amateur assassin and his partner

"Cartman,are you sure you want to do not exactly the best ninja in the world..."

"Shut up Kenny!I learned all of my ninja skills from assassins creed"

Kenny sighs,then turns into a chain scythe."Whatever Fatass"

"Kenny,if you call me fat one more time,I swear to lord death.."

"Just go already!" Cartman jumps out of his hiding place and lands on the table where his target was having lunch on.

"I AM ERIC CARTMAN!THE MAN LORD DEATH HIMSELF FEARS!"

_In the death room..._

_"Huh,there it is again.I don't know why,but every so often I get the urge to hit Cartman_..."

Kenny goes back to his human form. "Since when am I your microphone!?"

"Ok,shoot these mother f***ers..." The members of the group take out guns and start shooting at Kenny and Eric,who are spinning in a circle trying to avoid the bullets.

"Kenny, smoke bomb mode!"

"Cartman,you never do it right though!"

"Just do it asshole!" Kenny turns into a little smoke bomb and Cartman throws him on the ground causing smoke to go all around the room.

They manage to escape to the DWMA

"Holy crap,that was awesome!Did you see how badass I was!"

Kenny slaps him."YOU JACKASS WE ALMOST GOT KILLED!"

"Yeah,but thanks to my quick thinking we got awa-OW!"

"Listen,we got one more chance to do this right."

"How?Everything is going we-OW!QUIT IT ASSHOLE!"

"His group is going to try and get a witch named Angela and they are going to use her magic."

"Im way ahead of ya!"Cartman runs off

"Stupid fatass doesn't even know where she is..." Kenny runs after him

When Kenny and Cartman finally get there,they find many Keishan souls floating around them.

" WTF?"

"Who are you two?"

"We're from the academy."

"Are you trying to get Angela's soul?"

"Well,that depe-OW!" Kenny slapped him again

"If you want Angela,you gotta get through me!" The samurai rushes at them with his sword,but Kenny pulls Cartman out of the way.

"Well,Kenny don't just sit there!"

"stupid fatass..." Kenny transforms and Cartman grabs him

"Get ready to fail epically at the hands of-!" the samurai instantly defeats Cartman before he could even attack.

"Dude,that was f***ing weak"

"How about you shut up Kenny!" Cartman slashes at the samurai,but he doesn't land a single hit.

"You should give u-!" Cartman actually lands a hit on him,strong enough to knock him out.

"What now bitch!" Cartman raises his weapon...

"NO!I WONT LET YOU HURT HIM!" A girl runs up,grabs a sword,and hits Cartman with it.

"AAAAAAAH!IM GONNA KILL Y-"

"Cartman,don't you dare"

"Just go away!Never return!"

"Fine you little b****!Kenny,get the Keishan souls!"

When they return to the DWMA,Lord death tells them they can't use those souls,so he confiscates them.

"All of that work for nothing..."

"Hey Kyle,Stan"

"Hey Kenny" Kyle says "How did your mission go?"

"Well..."

"You didn't get any souls,did you Fatass?"

"Oh yeah,says the Jew that got a cat soul instead of a witches"

"SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH YOU FAT PEICE OF SHIT!"

Kyle and Cartman continue to argue.

"Guys,knock it off" Kenny says

"It's best to just leave them,man" Stan says

Next time, we meet a weapons and miester trio-

Craig,Tweek,and Wendy,and their adventure at Anubis.


	3. Chapter 3-Prologue 3-Craig,Tweek,Wendy

So far, we met Kyle and Stan,and Cartman and Kenny

Now,we're meeting the the Red Racer and Symmetry loving Craig,with his partners Tweek and Wendy

"Lupin,Your soul has become a Keishan egg and is pure evil"

Craig and his partners go into a tiki like stance

"And now we have come to claim it!"

"These guys are f***ing retarded..."

"TWEEK GODDANM IT YOU SCREWED UP AGAIN!"

"GAH!IM SORRY CRAIG!"

Wendy looks over at the spot that lupin was in,realizing that he ran away

"Craig,he got away!"

"Hey,I'm talking,and you just interrupt me!Why don't you listen for once!"

"O-ok..."

"Symmetry is Key."Craig says,sticking his middle fingers up.

"Everything must be perfect."

Wendy rolls her eyes "oh wonderful,here we go..."

"Thats the whole reason that I chose you both" Craig pute his head down in anger

"but your just so asymmetrical,Wendy"

"Excuse me?"

"Your hair ,Tweek is taller that you," Craig grabs both of her breasts.

"Even your boobs are different Sizes!"

Wendy punches him

"EXCUSE ME FOR BEING DIFFERENT THAN THE TWITCHY ONE!"

"H-Hey!"

"YOU SHOULD TALK, HAIR HAVING 3 STRIPES ON IT,WHICH IS WHY YOU WHERE THAT STUPID HAT!"

Craig breaks down on the floor.

"SHUT UP!IM HIDING MY ASYMMETRICAL HAIR!"

Wendy sighs."Im sorry"

"Look,let's just go on that other mission"

"Fine,weapon forms."

Tweek and Wendy transform into twin pistols.

Craig grabs them,then he uses his powers to bring out his skateboard

and he flies off to the pyramid of Anubis

As they walk inside,Wendy notices that Craig is being awfully quiet

"What's up Craig?Your really quiet there..."

"IM MISSING RED RACER!"

"THIS IS NOT THE TIME TO WORRY ABOUT THAT!"

But Craig doesn't listen to her,and he runs back outside.

Wendy grabs Tweek and drags him off

"Come on Tweek,we don't need him..."

A few minuets later,Craig is riding on his skateboard back inside.

"Cant believe they put out a repeat"

He skates into a room,and sees Wendy tied up and Tweek in the corner.

"What the hell!Im gone for a few minutes and you become a part of a harem!"

"Shut up and get me down!"

"Tornado Flip!" The skateboard cuts Wendy's bandages and she transforms along with Tweek

"Alright Pharaoh,Prepare fo-!" Craig gets punched and falls on the floor

"Craig,come on!Don't tell me you won't hit it because he's symmetrical!"

"HE'S SYMMETRICAL?!"

"Oh s*** I just screwed up didn't I?"

The pharaoh comes out of the coffin,and Craig stares at it.

"Craig?Whats wrong?" Wendy asks as he gets up.

Craig points the pistols at him and starts shooting

"YOU DISGUSTING PEICE OF ASYMMETRICAL SHIT!"

The shots create a hole in the wall.

As they collect the Keishan soul of the pharaoh,they all walk out.

"So,what do we do now?"

"Well,I have something to do at home"

Tweek is the only one that notices that the pyramid collapsed completely

"U-uh g-guys?"

"Tweek,transform already..."

"R-right..."

Back At the DWMA,Craig goes to the death room.

"So Craig,are you ready to take the test?"

"Of course"

"Then lets begin...

30 seconds later..

"Aaaaaaaand you failed"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Well,now that we shown all the main charecters story's on how they failed epicly...

the real story can begin!


	4. Chapter 4-The Story Actually Starts

Stan punches his clock and it falls on the ground.

"ahh...take that b****..."

'Oh,this is just too easy' Kat whispers as she jumps on top of him

"Morning Stan~Time to get up"

"AH!K-K-Kat!"

"Whats wrong?Dont tell me you roll like _that..._"

"Since when did i say that?!"

"Sooo...ifiputmychestinyourfaceyouwo uldnottmind?"

"Wha-MMMPH!?"

Kyle knocks on the door.

"Stan,she's a cat!You cant bang her!"

"i f***ing hate you both..." Stan mumbles as he gets up.

* * *

(at school...)

"Kyle,can i copy your homework?"

" reading"

"Come on dude!"

"IM READING"

"I dont get you!Its just a book!"

Kyle shuts his book."Kyle..."

"What are you doi-!"

"CHOP!" He chops Stan's head with his book

"DUDE!THAT F***ING HURT YOU KNOW!"

"I know."

"Oh yeah...You know your dad is gonna teach us today right?"

"wait what?"

Speaking of the devil,Kyle's dad walks in.

"Ok...Im the teacher so everyone shut up"

"YOU GOTTA BE S****ING ME" Kyle yells

"Oh!HI KYLE!" Kyle slams his head on the desk...

_This cannot be f***ing happening... _he thought

The intercom beeps."_Kyle and Stan,get your fata**es to the Death Room."_

* * *

"Kenny,Fatass,why are you two here?"

"We got called too...dont call me fat"

"What ever..." Kyle writes the death room's number on the window,but its not Lord Death who pops up...

"Whatup B****es" A girl with long black hair,glasses, a random shirt that says "I like trains",and fluffy boots yells

"Who the hell are you?" Stan and Cartman yell.

"Im Patty of course!"

"Arent you the creator of this story?" Kenny asks

"Yes."

"Kenny!You just broke the fourth wall!" Kyle says.

"I broke it anyway!"

"Where the F*** is Lord Death You Whore?!"

Patty gives Cartman the death stare.

"Im his replacement!"

"So we have to deal with you now?"

"Yup!Deal with it fatty"

"Why are we here anyway?" Kyle asks his new favorite person

"Oh right!Hold on..."

She takes out her IPhone(with a awesome Hetalia cover)

"I havent been in touch with these two shows in a while..."

"You watch Hetalia?" Stan asks

" Uh,Yeah"

She types something and begins reading a page

"You guys have to go to the cemetary and beat this zombie guy."

"And why do we have to do that?"

"Because if you dont" She pulls out a shotgun

"Your gonna be in a hospital"

"Yes ma'am!Come on guys!" Cartman runs away like the fat pussy he is.

* * *

(at the cemetary)

Cartman starts looking franticly

"Come on! I dont want to be in a hospital!" He cries

_you need to be in a mental one..._ Kenny thought

"AAAAH!" Kyle yells.

Stan turns around only to find a zombie holding Kyle by his leg

"Chef?"

"Hello there been a while."

"You died" Cartman replies

"Uh can you let me go?" Kyle asks,still afraid

"Oh ." Kyle falls,almost breaking his ankle

"So we have to defeat you?" Kenny asks.

Chef checks his script quickly,then nods.

Kenny and Stan transform,then Kyle and Cartman get in their position

"Get ready to be pwned!" Cartman charges at him

(15 Cartman getting owned mins later...)

"Ok Stan,Soul Resonance"

"Kyle,it never works right"

"Just do it!"

(1 hour later...)

"And thats how me and Kenny ended up saving you two!"

"SHUT UP AND UNTIE US FATASS!"

* * *

(At the Death Room with Craig,Tweek,Wendy,and Patty)

"Well,they're doing just fine!" Patty says

"Dont they need some help?" Tweek asks

"Do YOU want to fight a zombie Tweek?"

"NGH!NO!"

"Then shut up"

**TO BE CONTINUED**

**...Maybe**


	5. Chapter 5

"Sorry about this Chef..." Kenny says as he ties up Chef

"Its alright Kenny"

"Ok,so what now?" Stan asks

"I guess we call Patty" Kyle looks for a mirror

'42-42-564'

"Hey guys!" Patty says,drinking some cola

"Hey!What the hell is Craig doing there?!" Cartman yells

"Dude,i can smell the cheesy poofs from here."

"Dosent answer the question"

"Because Im special like that" Craig answers,flipping them off

"Anyway,good job." She says,giving them a thumbs up

"But...there's one more thing"

"Are you f***ing kidding me!?" Cartman yells

Patty takes out her shotgun."Watch the language,Fatass"

"Y-yes ma'am!"

"You guys have to go find the person that turned Chef into a zombie."

"Aaand,who would that be?" Kyle asks

"Sh*t,i dont know

thats your job"

"Really?"

"Yes Stan,we know how much you want to visit Kat..."

"I DONT"

"Sure,well...I gotta do something,so get to it boys"

"Bet you its Hetalia.." Cartman mumbles

"What was that?" Patty cocks her shotgun

"N-nothing!"

"Good!Well,good luck!" the screen fades

* * *

"Hey Craig,you guys wanna play Smash Bros?"

Craig shrugs his sholders. "Sure"

* * *

A girl walks over to the boys

"I believe that I was the one that did that"

"Who the f*** are you?"

"Im Patty's friend."

She had a labcoat,a zelda t-shirt,etc.

"So you did this?"

" Yup

Oh,and get ready,cause we 'bout to fight."

(1 everyone getting owned hour later)

"Since i feel pity for you guys,i'll come with you to the school."

"How did you learn those moves,child?" Chef asks,still tied up

"I learned all my moves from Street Fighter."

* * *

(Back at the school in Patty's room)

"Oh,Amy!" Patty hugs her.

"Its been a while!"

"Yup,well ive been busy"

_These two are the biggest tsunderes ive ever met_ Kyle thought

"We heard that" They both say

Aparently,they have mind powers

"Now leave,we have some stuff to catch up on" Patty says

_Heh,i bet there gonna watch Hetalia_ Cartman thought

Patty shot her shotgun,giving him a warning

* * *

(Back at Stan and Kyle's house)

"Hey,where have you guys been?" Kat asks,in her kitty form

"School issues" Kyle says as he goes to his room

"Stan!Wanna take a bath with me?"

"Hell no!"

**To be continued...maybe...**


End file.
